Blindly Faithful
by hklbry
Summary: End of Series 1 - What changed between "Captain Jack Harkness" and "End of Days" to make Ianto go from the voice of reason to helping Owen open the Rift a second time?  Warning: Graphic sex and a not particularly nice Jack.


A/N: What changed between "Captain Jack Harkness" and "End of Days" to make Ianto go from the voice of reason to helping Owen open the Rift a second time?

Warning: Graphic sex and a not particularly nice Jack. I'm serious. Some people have complained. Ianto is not treated with care. Is it abusive? Yes. Is it rape? Not in Ianto's mind. Don't be afraid to stop reading if it's upsetting you.

I was going through my stack of unfinished Torchwood fic and salvaged this into a short piece. It isn't pretty, but at least I can say I finished one! The original unfinished version of this followed Jack around for the rest of the episode while he came up with ways to break out of his malaise and make things up to Ianto followed by much angst before eventual remorse, retribution, redemption, and recovery. This is so not that version!

Addendum: Thanks for all the reviews (and even the angry emails)! People have asked for the longer version. I'll take another look at it to see if it can be salvaged and finished. It went _really_ long and went through "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang". If I can save it, I'll publish it as chapters to this piece.

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"I'm going to drive Owen and Tosh home, Jack," Ianto said poking his head into Jack's office. Ianto had tried to convince Gwen to drive the slightly inebriated Tosh and the injured/stoned on pain killers Owen home, but she wanted to get home to Rhys. She also told Ianto he needed to take Owen home since he was the one to shoot him. She said something about 'beginning the healing' and he tuned her out. "I should be back in about an hour."

"No need. Drop them off and go home." Jack didn't look up from the glass of whisky he was staring into.

Ianto hated it when Jack brooded particularly when he did so when drinking. He needed to hurry back before Jack's mood turned from gloomy to angry.

"No, I'll be back. We can..."

"I said go home!" Jack snarled at Ianto.

Too late then, Ianto thought. Jack had reached 'angry' at a record pace. Ianto hurried away without comment and gathered Tosh and Owen.

"...then Jack, our Jack, and the real Captain Harkness kissed," Tosh said as they drove to Owen's. "It was so beautiful!"

"I knew he was gay," Owen slurred triumphantly. "Maybe you still have a shot Ianto! Well, as long you keep your gun handy!" Owen cackled.

Ianto and Jack had decided to keep their extracurricular activities private. Ianto was fine with it most of the time even though he secretly wondered if Jack was embarrassed by him, but sometimes Ianto wanted to share their relationship with the team. If he was honest with himself, something he avoided, Ianto wanted to prove to them he was special. "Hey guys," he imagined saying, "just wanted to let you know I have value as evidenced by my ability to fill Jack's bottomless pit of lust." Just as he hadn't corrected Owen earlier prior to shooting him about his relationship to Jack, Ianto held his tongue.

"Jack was so sad knowing what was going to happen to Captain Harkness, but it was amazing to see how he fit in so easily. He really seemed to belong there!" Tosh ignored Owen, too. "I wish you could have seen it, Ianto."

Ianto was glad he hadn't. Sure, he was a little jealous Tosh got to see Jack so vulnerable, but he wouldn't want to see Jack chasing after another man. He knew their relationship was casual, well, really it was whatever was less formal than casual, but that didn't mean he had to enjoy watching Jack in action. It was bad enough watching him flirt with Gwen or random women. He tasted bile every time he saw him flirt with another man. Watching him kiss a man he felt some kind of near mystical connection to? Nope. Ianto didn't want to make that deposit of pain to his torment bank.

"How you doing back there, Owen," Ianto asked trying to see the doctor in the rear view mirror.

"I was shot by a poncey little wanker! How do you think I'm doing?" He sat forward and grabbed Tosh's shoulder. "He was going to let you and Jack stay trapped in 1941! I took a bullet for you, Tosh." The pain killers allowed Owen to turn her name into a three syllable saliva fest.

"I was trying to protect the planet," Ianto said pulling up to Owen's building. He put the SUV in park. "I'm glad you and Jack are back and safe, but I still feel using the Rift Manipulator was too dangerous."

"It all worked out in the end," Tosh said squeezing Ianto's arm. "I just wish you hadn't felt the need to shoot poor Owen," she whispered.

Yes, Ianto thought, poor Owen – he's the real victim in all of this. Ianto put on what he called "Patient Subservient Smile #2".

"I hate to leave him on his own," Ianto said. "Maybe I should take him home with me..."

"I could stay with him," Tosh said quickly.

Ianto switched to "Pleasantly Surprised Smile #1".

"You wouldn't mind?" Ianto knew she didn't mind.

"No, not at all. Can you help me get him inside?"

Ianto nodded and helped get Owen into his flat and settled. He smiled a real smile. Now he wouldn't need to drive to Tosh's place and could go straight back to the Hub, back to his Jack. He hoped he could put Jack in a better mood. He didn't often feel the need to talk particularly about himself, but he'd never shot anyone before. What if he'd killed Owen? It made him nauseous to think about it.

Back at the Hub, Jack's mood was grim. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to have these responsibilities. Could he have lived through World War II again? Certainly. With Tosh's help, he could have taken Captain Harkness' place on that fateful training flight. He could have been shot down, declared dead, returned from the dead, and lived out the rest of the war somewhere safe with him. He knew it was a ridiculous fantasy. Captain Harkness wouldn't stand for it. Then again, he had admitted to being scared. Maybe he was as tired of being Captain as Jack was.

Jack closed his eyes and imagined a world where he and Captain Harkness were able to be together. They'd spend the war years fighting against the Nazis side by side then maybe move to America. They could be wildcatters in the Texas oil fields.

He was too involved in constructing his elaborate fantasy to hear Ianto return. Jack felt strong hands on his shoulders and fed the sensation into his fantasy. It was Captain Harkness giving him a neck rub. It was him kissing his ear.

"Let's move to your bed so I can give you a proper massage," a voice said seductively in his ear. It wasn't Captain Harkness. The disruption to his fantasy made Jack angry. He slapped the hands off his shoulders and turned in his chair.

"I told you to go home," he said menacingly.

Ianto took two steps back, hit the low shelving unit with the back of his legs, and scuttled to the side. He had seen that look in Jack's eyes before and he had learned from experience to stay out of arm's reach. His jaw ached from the memory.

"I know, but I thought we could talk or drink or whatever you want..." Ianto trailed off as Jack seemed to grow angrier. His blood turned to ice as a slow, unpleasant smile grew on Jack's face.

"Okay, you can stay," Jack said refilling his glass of whisky. "Go down to my room, take your clothes off, and prepare yourself. You have until I finish this drink." Jack took a gulp from the glass.

Ianto didn't move. He didn't like that look in Jack's eye. A little voice in the back of his mind, an often ignored voice, told him to run. He ignored the voice again. He burst into motion and climbed into Jack's bedroom bunker.

Jack smirked. Ianto was so easy. He wasn't the man he wanted, but his body was soft and hard in all the right places. He drank his booze and thought of all the things he was going to do to that body.

Ianto had been with Jack long enough to know what to expect when he was told to prepare himself. It meant Jack was needy and desperate. He didn't have the patience for foreplay or the desire for less invasive sex. It was exciting, in its way, and Ianto liked being able to satisfy Jack's darker impulses, but it wasn't ideal for him. He preferred finding more sensual ways to please his leader, ways that took less of an emotional toll on him.

Jack climbed down and watched Ianto for a moment. He was struck for the hundredth time how good Ianto was. Jack told him to get ready and he obeyed. Jack was touched in a way by Ianto's devotion. In another way, it pissed him off. He didn't want to have a tender moment. He leered at Ianto.

Did the man have no self-respect? What did it say about Jack that he was willing to take advantage of that? Captain Harkness wouldn't do this. Jack stomach churned at the reminder of his identity theft. He set the feeling aside and undressed.

Ianto slowly, sensually pulled at his lower lip with his teeth and moaned languorously. He pushed his fingers in and out a few more times. He hoped Jack would be enticed into a more friendly arrangement than what Ianto was anticipating.

"Get up," Jack commanded.

Their eyes locked and Ianto knew it hadn't worked. He hesitantly stood. He was nervous. Something about the intensity Jack had since he returned from the past was frightening.

"Jack," Ianto said taking a step further closing the already small space between Jack and the bed.

"Make me hard," Jack said stonily.

Ianto's wrapped his still wet fingers around Jack's shaft. With his other hand he reached for Jack's face. Jack grabbed his wrist in a painful twist.

"Don't," he ordered. Why did Ianto have to make this more difficult? He pulled back on Ianto's wrist. Ianto gasped and involuntarily tightened his grip on Jack cock. The combination excited Jack beyond what little reason he had left. He saw the slight look of fear in Ianto's eyes and his heart began pounding in his ears.

"Jack, my hand..."

"Shut up," Jack snapped. He let go of Ianto's wrist. "If you say one more word, I'll gag you. Understand?"

Ianto nodded mutely. Jack had teased him about being more vocal in the bedroom than he was in the boardroom many times before he presented Ianto with a ball gag. It had been a joke, but one night Jack had decided to use it. It had terrified Ianto. For a man who didn't say much, he immediately had hundreds of things to say. He was quiet, but he liked to think that meant Jack paid more attention to his words when he did speak. He knew it wasn't true, but he liked the idea. He liked nothing about the gag.

"Better. On your knees. Use your mouth." Jack didn't want to stand face to face with Ianto. He knew how much Ianto hated the gag. He'd promised himself he would never use it again, but he hadn't thrown it out. He supposed that said a lot about his promises.

Ianto dropped to his knees. Before Jack, the only thing even remotely sexual Ianto had done with a man was some drunken kissing. The advantage of that, Jack had said, was he could teach Ianto to do things the way he liked. As he sucked Jack into his mouth, he thought 'train' might be a more appropriate would than 'teach'.

Jack moaned and thrust into Ianto's mouth. Ianto was a natural. It was like Ianto was a sexual telepath. Jack had never met someone who exuded sex with such quiet passion and inherent talent while being completely oblivious to it. He felt a pang of something he didn't want to think about again. He crushed the feeling and fed it back into his anger.

He pulled on Ianto's hair and shoved deeper into Ianto's mouth. He held Ianto's head until the young man made choking sounds. Jack drank in the power he felt. He pulled back and gave Ianto a moment to catch his breath. He pushed in again and pulled Ianto's head closer.

Ianto didn't like it when Jack did this, but he accepted it. He'd do his best not only because he wanted to please Jack, but because the sooner he made Jack come, the sooner it would be over. Maybe after he was sated Jack would be in a better mood. Ianto was shaken from shooting Owen. They never talked about what Ianto needed, but he hoped Jack would understand Ianto well enough to know how upset he was. He hollowed his cheeks around Jack's cock trying to give Jack what he needed.

Jack found a rhythm he liked and stroked in and out of Ianto's mouth. Ianto increased the suction and Jack couldn't stop from moaning. Completely unbidden, the image of Captain Harkness crossed Jack's mind. Captain Harkness wouldn't let a man fuck his face like this! The idea of violating that perfect version of himself filled Jack with a twisted desire. He let Ianto go and stepped back against the ladder.

"Get up and bend over," Jack panted.

Ianto took a moment to catch his breath. He slowly stood and turned around. He was about to say something when Jack pushed him. Ianto grabbed at the bed for leverage to keep from hitting his head on the wall. Jack kicked his feet apart.

Jack didn't want to lose momentum. He wanted to yell at Ianto to move faster, but he didn't have the words. A tattoo of need was echoing through his head. He pounced. He pushed Ianto over and manhandled him into position. It wasn't ideal, but it was immediate. Without a word he pressed his cock against Ianto's opening and pushed inside.

Ianto had lubed and stretched his ass for Jack, but not to the extent Ianto would have liked. It was exactly to the extent Jack wanted. Hot and virginal tight, Jack could easily imagine his alter ego writhing beneath him. After a few shallow thrusts, Jack slammed forward.

"Arhhh! Jack," Ianto cried. He tried to reach back, but with only one arm propping him up he couldn't support his weight in the awkward position. He collapsed forward and down uncomfortably on the bed. Jack pulled out of him.

"Don't move," Jack snarled.

Jack was frustrated by Ianto's movement and voice. He pulled out a box from under his bed. He rummaged quickly and found the ball gag. He turned his attention back to Ianto and was pleased the man hadn't moved. He remained face down on one of his arms where he had fallen against the mattress.

Jack returned to his position behind Ianto and gripped the longer hair on Ianto's crown back. He pulled him up and let him support his torso on his arms again. He leaned against Ianto's back. He could feel his heart pounding. The feeling of control washed over his damaged soul like a black balm.

"You were warned," he whispered in Ianto's ear. He yanked on Ianto's hair and shoved the ball into Ianto's mouth muffling his pleas. He let go of his hair and fastened the snaps securing the gag in place. He bent around and turned Ianto's head to face him. Ianto's eyes were wide with terror. Jack couldn't look at that face and pretend Ianto wanted it this way. He moved across the room and lowered the lights.

He returned to Ianto. Jack rubbed little circles on Ianto's hips and ground his pelvis against his buttocks.

"You're literally gagging for it now, aren't you," Jack asked not expecting or wanting an answer. "You can't wait to have me inside you. You love being fucked up the ass, don't you? Yeah, you love it." He reached around and grabbed Ianto's cock. He was angry at Ianto's lack of arousal.

He let go and grabbed Ianto's left leg. He forced it to bend and maneuvered the knee onto the bed. Ianto was now supported even more on his arms. His right foot was still on the floor, but he was on his toes. He wasn't fantasizing about a post-sex cuddle any longer. He was dreaming of soaking his sore muscles in the whirlpool.

With Ianto's new position, his ass was more open to Jack. Jack wasted no time taking advantage of that. He pushed inside until his entire length was buried. He groaned at the sensation. He thrust in and out several times enjoying the sinful friction.

He envied Ianto. This is what Jack wanted. He wanted to feel Captain Harkness inside him. He'd take anything the World War II pilot could dish out – gladly. He began pounding into Ianto as he imagined himself in Ianto's place with the real Captain Harkness fucking him.

Ianto lost the ability to think. He couldn't breathe around the gag. He felt a stinging feeling he suspected was tearing. Jack had been rough before, but the alarming force he was showing at the moment was different from anything Ianto had experienced. He was overwhelmed.

"Fra...zawk! Ugahhh," Jack moaned as he slammed closer to completion.

Ianto snapped back to the moment. He'd asked Jack many times what 'fra zawk' meant, but Jack would only laugh and not even reveal what language it was. Ianto knew it signaled Jack was close to a hard orgasm. He couldn't move much in his current position, but he rocked his hips slightly to help spur Jack on.

The movement might have seemed minute to Ianto, but in Jack's fevered imagination it was a wanton invitation to pound harder. That's what Jack would have done in Ianto's place. He'd beg for more. He'd make sure the Captain knew how much he loved this. He could see him so clearly – his skin flushed, a bead of sweat running down his face, his eyes closed in ecstasy...

"Oh God! Jack! Fuck! Jack!" Jack came hard gripping Ianto's hips. His pelvis continued thrusting until his knees grew weak. He begrudgingly slid out and collapsed onto the bed next to Ianto. Ianto. He realized with an almost physical shock he was with Ianto.

It wasn't the first time Jack had called out someone else's name, but this was, in Ianto's mind, a new low. He'd known the real Jack Harkness a few hours at best. It wasn't fair. He'd worked so hard to do everything right. He'd tried to find a safer way to bring Jack and Tosh back. He'd tried to stop Owen. He'd been happy to have Jack back, but now he realized how much Jack resented it. He hadn't wanted to be saved. Ianto was sure Jack would have given up everything in the present to have spent those few more hours with the doomed Captain.

Tears rolled down his face. He began to hyperventilate around the ball gag. Ianto was afraid to move, but he had to get the gag off. He pushed off the bed and felt the pins and needles in his left leg as the blood flow resumed. He grabbed at the gag feeling for the snaps. His shaking hands couldn't find them. He began to panic.

Jack wasn't sure if the dim lighting made things look worse or better. He could tell Ianto was crying. He wasn't immediately sure what Ianto was doing with his hands, but once he turned into the light Jack could tell he was trying to remove the gag. Jack had forgotten about it. He reached to help him. Ianto smacked Jack's hands away in his frenzy. Jack slapped him.

There goes another promise, Jack thought as he unsnapped the gag and removed it from a stunned Ianto. He had promised, swore really, he wouldn't hit Ianto again. Ianto hadn't held it against him, but that only made his shame worse. Jack gave himself some credit for it being an open handed slap instead of a punch and rationalized the leather strap on the gag took most of the force. By the time he put the gag back in the box, Jack had convinced himself that he hadn't broken his promise as slapping someone who was hysterical was a well-accepted practice and Ianto, blindly faithful, absurdly loyal Ianto, would forgive him.

"Wow, that was wild," Jack said reclining on the bed. Ianto was stepping into his underwear. Jack didn't like feeling ignored. "You can speak now. You have my permission."

Ianto put his shirt on, but his fingers wouldn't work the buttons. He grabbed his socks and sat on the bed to put them on. Jack grabbed his wrist.

"What are you doing," Jack sniped. He'd had just about enough of Ianto's petulant behavior. His earlier anger was bubbling back to the surface. Couldn't Ianto let him have this moment? He needed another drink. He'd make Ianto bring the bottle down and they could share a drink while he recuperated for round 2.

"I'm getting dressed. I don't want to get arrested for indecent exposure," Ianto said dryly without looking at Jack. He pulled his hand away and quickly slipped on his socks.

"I didn't say you could leave." Ianto stood and retrieved his trousers. He wiped his face with his handkerchief.

"I think it's best if I do," Ianto said tucking his unbuttoned shirt into his pants. Jack's anger spiked. He felt bad enough as it was. He didn't need Ianto acting like a martyr.

"That's the problem. Thinking isn't exactly your strong suit!" Part of Jack knew that was unfair and was the kind of comment that really hurt Ianto, but he wasn't in a mood to be fair. He was in the mood to make someone hurt as much as he did. "I can't imagine how you could have fucked up any more than you did. You shot Owen and let the rift be opened."

"I tried to stop him," Ianto said his voice cracking. He knew he'd failed. Even after everything Jack had done, Ianto wanted him to see how much he was hurting and help him. He couldn't show the others how he was shaken by the events and Jack was the only thing resembling a friend in his life. He needed him to understand. "I tried to do what I thought you would do."

"What I would do? Well, I wouldn't have taken the middle ground. You could have helped Owen to rescue me or you could have stopped him from using the Rift Manipulator. Your decision? To be an ineffective, but annoying gadfly. Owen's injured and the Rift was opened." Jack gaged Ianto's expression. He wasn't satisfied. He wanted to see the pain. Ianto looked upset, but he didn't look like the mirror image Jack wanted to see.

"I don't blame you for anything," Jack said smiling unpleasantly. "That would be like blaming a vase for gathering dust. It's my fault for trying to turn something decorative into something functional. Useless." He looked away from Ianto. Jack's anger was settling in jaw as he ground his teeth.

"But you need me Jack," Ianto said a fat tear trickling from his right eye. His bit his bottom lip to keep it from trembling.

"Need you," Jack repeated looking at Ianto again. He shook his head. "You're like a nicely framed cheap print – okay to look at for a while, but if you look too closely you realize it's tacky. Maybe it's time to redecorate."

There was the look Jack had been waiting for! Jack knew how important being useful and needed was to Ianto. It seemed to be the main source of Ianto's self-esteem. He'd worked hard to make Ianto feel needed and wanted. Seeing the misery and pain written so clearly on Ianto's face, a face so often covered by a series of masks, Jack realized he'd undone that work. His moment of satisfaction was quickly overcome by his feelings of remorse.

"Ianto," Jack started, not sure what he was going to say. Sorry? Could he say it without it sounding hollow? What was wrong with him? He was so tired and frustrated, but he shouldn't take it out on Ianto. He needed to get a grip.

"I'm sorry I failed to stop Owen, sir. You have no idea how sorry I am." Ianto wiped his sleeve across his tear tracked face. "I'll start looking for a new lobby to hang myself in tomorrow. Sir." Ianto climbed the ladder quickly. If he stopped moving he feared he would give in to paralysis. Ianto was already trying to rationalize Jack's comments and actions as Jack blowing off steam, but Ianto's psyche had been waiting for this moment. Ianto's subconscious, sounding like Lisa, whispered to him that this was Jack showing his true colors.

Jack started to go after him, but he didn't have the energy. He'd sober up and make some excuse to call Ianto in early tomorrow morning. Ianto was an infinite fountain of forgiveness. He'd apologize, hug him, kiss his neck, and Ianto would hesitantly melt against him. He'd explain how the weight of leadership was crushing him. Ianto would understand.

Jack smiled as he conjured up a new fantasy. Captain Harkness, he imagined saying to his 20th century doppelgänger, may I introduce you to Ianto Jones? He'll do anything to please his Captain. Jack leaned back and smiled secure in the self-deception that Ianto would always be there for him.

His dream of showing off his Welsh pet to the real Captain Harkness was interrupted as his phone rang. Five hours and countless calls later, Jack called Ianto in, but his plan was abandoned. He needed his help fielding calls as the world seemed to come unglued. The irony of calling Ianto because he needed him after what he had said wasn't lost on Jack, but he didn't have the time to fixate on it. He had a sickening feeling the worst was yet to come.


End file.
